


Still

by MeghanAnna



Series: Modern Love [4]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU, F/M, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-03-25 07:06:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3801313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeghanAnna/pseuds/MeghanAnna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>I’ve never been deeper, so far gone. Your sister in the next room with the television on.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Clarke and Bellamy have been sleeping together for months--when they're drunk and when they're angry--but when they're left alone after a dinner with Octavia, Clarke decides she needs to change the rules of their game.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Clarke knew the drill. She was supposed to wait for Octavia to fall asleep before making any moves toward Bellamy’s room. But Octavia had begged her to watch a movie and she was _Octavia’s_ friend, so she did while Bellamy worked on his thesis in his bedroom. As Octavia began to drift off in front of the TV, Clarke thought back to her night at the Blakes’.

She and Bellamy had gotten along all night, both of them laughing with Octavia over their shared dinner. When he finally started to beg off toward his room, it was late. She was getting ready to leave and go to her own apartment, but both Octavia and Bellamy told her to shut up and sleep on the couch. It was then that she smiled gratefully, her eyes remaining on Bellamy for a little too long. He nodded his head with a quick smile before turning away for his room. That was when Octavia told her she wanted to watch _Titanic_.

“That’s over three hours long, O,” Clarke reminded her and Octavia laughed, pulling her down to the couch.

“It’s spring break; we have nowhere to be in the morning.”

So, she agreed and she and O got comfy on the couch, lounging against opposite armrests. It wasn’t until the ship had hit the iceberg that Octavia’s breathing evened out and her hand fell off the couch. She was out.

Clarke got up from the couch, putting a blanket carefully over Octavia’s sleeping form, and headed for Bellamy’s room. Tonight was different, though.

“Hey,” he said quietly when she closed the door behind her.

“Hi,” she said with a soft smile. His brow furrowed at her and then his computer before he stood up.

“How was the movie?” He asked, hands sliding down her bare arms.

“Same as always. It hit an iceberg,” she shrugged and he smiled. “I want to try something new tonight,” she told him as her fingers played with the top button of his plaid shirt.

“Oh, yeah?” He asked with that stupid, devilish smirk of his that made her knees weak.

“Not like that, you perv,” she smacked his arm and he laughed before his lips latched to her neck. “We had a good night, Bell.”

“I know,” he said with a short nip on her collarbone. “Weird.”

“I want to know what it feels like,” she breathed and he stepped away from her.

“We’ve been sleeping together for months, Clarke. You know what it feels like,” he smirked again but her face remained stoic.

“Without stumbling into each other’s bed drunk or fighting first,” she amended and she watched as he let out a deep breath. “We get along more than we don’t these days, but you’re always picking fights before we sleep together. Not tonight.”

“It works, doesn’t it?” He asked, arms crossing tightly over his chest. She stepped forward, her eyes never leaving his, and uncrossed his arms to hold his hands between them.

“I need to know if this means what I think it means,” she admitted and he tensed before dropping his eyes to the floor.

“It doesn’t,” he said quietly and she laughed before letting go of his hands and stepping closer.

“What are you so afraid of?” She asked and he just shook his head. She pulled on the top button of his shirt again, walking them backwards until she could sit on top of his desk and continued to pull him until he was between her knees. “Bellamy.”

“I’m not afraid of shit, Clarke,” he said with a familiar edge to his voice and her hand dropped from his body.

“Don’t do it,” she warned. “Pick a fight to make yourself feel better and I’m leaving. Whatever the fuck this is will be over. Okay?”

His eyes softened and his hands trailed up her thighs under her dress and sighed. “I hate you,” he told her and she smiled.

“I hate you, too,” she agreed and his hands moved from her legs to her face. When he kissed her, it wasn’t messy—like when they were drunk—or too hard—like when they fought. It was soft, it was all lips, it was exactly what she wanted.

“You’re sure she’s asleep?” Bellamy asked when he stopped kissing her to rest his forehead against hers. She nodded, reaching between them to unbutton his shirt. “Good,” he said before kissing her again.

Now he had one hand on her face, his fingers curling around her skull as his other hand went back to her thigh and under her dress until it was on her waist pulling her flush against him. His tongue ran the seam of her lips and she gasped as their kiss deepened. Her hands ran up his chest until they were on his neck and he pulled his away to take his shirt off before pulling back far enough to pull Clarke’s dress over her head.

Suddenly, everything hit her all at once—they weren’t fighting, they were stone sober, he was kissing her softly but passionately, then he murmured her name against her lips again. After this, they couldn’t go back. For months, they’d been having hate sex or drunken sex. But this was different. It would change everything. She was too far gone; she didn’t even want to get lost in him. She already was.

He tightened her legs around his waist—his lips never leaving hers—and he lifted her. They continued getting lost in each other as he crossed the room to his bed with her still wrapped around him. When she was on her back and he was above her, he pulled his face back from hers—just to look down at her—and her fingers loosened their grip in his hair and one hand fell to his chest.

“Say something dumb,” she said, offering him a way out--because she knew she'd do whatever he wanted as long as neither of them ended up in anyone else's bed-- and his brow furrowed. “If you want this to go back to how it was, start a fight. I won’t go anywhere.”

When Bellamy just smiled in return, her heart actually swelled and she pulled him back to her. It was different. It was slow and gentle and he was solely focused on her and her needs. She knew without a doubt that his mouth was leaving marks on her skin, but her fingernails were doing the same on his back and shoulders. Neither of them minded.

Clarke wasn’t sure when Bellamy went from that guy she sometimes had sex with to the guy she couldn’t stop thinking about. When she remembered that first time they slept together—drunk _and_ angry—she remembered how good it felt to just get everything out on the table. The next time it happened, they fought again and when Bellamy slammed her door behind him she was ready to scream into a pillow, but then he came back inside and they got lost in each other again. After that, whenever they fought or drank just a little too much, they’d end up in each other’s beds—or on Monty and Jasper’s couch.

They never talked about it. And on the nights they weren't fighting or drinking, Bellamy would purposely egg her on. At some point, she stopped caring because it wasn’t about the sex anymore. It was about him. And when he was being so gentle, so caring, she knew on some level that it had always been about Bellamy.

He was Bellamy. When they were younger, he was her best friend’s cooler, mysterious big brother. As they got older and two years didn’t feel like all that much time, he became her hard headed friend. He had ber back. He made her laugh. He made her crazy. He made her blush. He made her scream. He made her melt. He was _Bellamy._

“Don’t go,” he whispered as he pulled out of her.

“What?” She asked through her heavy breathing, tightening the sheet around her chest.

“I pick the fights, I tear away any sense of real emotion,” he admitted, looking at her from his side of the bed. “But you run away or push me away before we even catch our breath. What are _you_ so afraid of?”

“I’m not afraid of shit, Bellamy,” she said echoing his earlier words and he narrowed his eyes at her until she laughed. She sighed and rolled over to rest against his chest—her face just inches from his. “You. Me. I’m afraid of this because it’s not just- for me, it’s not just…”

“We’re past that point now,” he told her after she trailed off. “I’ve been past that point for a while now, just waiting for you to catch up.”

“Then why the fights? Why couldn’t we ever just… be together?”

“Because for two smart people, we aren’t very good at the talking thing,” he laughed and she nodded and rolled her eyes. “Don’t go. Stay here tonight. I hate when you leave.”

“You hate it?” She asked with a small smile and he nodded. “Like you hate me?”

His hand ran across her bare back and pulled her so even more of her was on top of him and kissed her. “No,” he said against her lips before his head fell back against the pillow again. “I _hate_ it. I hate it like I… _care about_ you.”

Clarke bit the inside of her cheek to keep her smile from growing, but lost her internal battle and she beamed. “Then I’ll stay,” she promised and his own smile made everything else fall away. It made her forget about Octavia sleeping on the couch just down the hall. It made her forget that they’d have to figure out how to tell their friends and how they’d all have their own loud opinions. All that was left was her. And Bellamy. In each other’s arms. In his bed. With no where else they wanted to be. With each other.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This is going to be fun,” he said and she tried hard—really, she did—not to laugh, but it bubbled up before she could really stop it.
> 
> “A fun disaster, maybe,” she told him and he just shook his head, that stupid smirk on his face. “A lot has changed since yesterday.”
> 
> “Not really,” he promised, but she didn’t believe him. “All that’s changed is we get to do everything we’ve wanted to do the past few months.”
> 
> “We’re not good at relationships, Bellamy,” Clarke reminded him. “And I don’t want to screw this up. It’s not just getting to touch each other and kiss each other whenever we want to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really didn't think I would continue this story, but I kind of wanted the morning after.

“Oh my god,” Bellamy announced as soon as he woke up. “We need to go back to not spending the night together.”

Clarke turned over in bed to look at him and she felt the sting of tears in her eyes. After everything, after the night before, she really thought they’d be able to try a normal relationship—the kind of relationship with feelings and sleepovers.

“What?” She croaked out. She’d been lying next to him with her back against his chest for almost twenty minutes, just waiting for him to wake up, but now she wished she’d left the night before like she used to. She wished she’d never had sex with Bellamy Blake at all.

His face had been buried in his pillow when he spoke, but he looked up at the sound of her voice and quickly shook his head. “No, Clarke,” he said quickly before draping his body over hers and putting a palm to her cheek. “I was just kidding. Your feet are like ice. That’s all I meant. I don’t actually want you to go anywhere. I don’t want to go backwards.”

She let out a breath, silently berating herself for overreacting. But, then again, things with Bellamy were fragile. They always had been. It wasn’t going to be an easy transition from friends with benefits to something real, just like it wasn’t an easy transition from enemies to friends. Her entire relationship with Bellamy had been a wild ride—one she wasn’t willing to hop off of any time soon.

“Me either,” she told him and he smiled just slightly before pressing his lips to hers. It was a casual kiss, something they weren’t really used to. It wasn’t leading to sex or an outcome of too much alcohol. It was just because they could, just because they wanted to. “I’ll wear socks to bed next time.”

“Sexy,” he murmured and she laughed before rolling them over so she was on top of him. “You know,” he said between kisses as his hands expanded over her bare back. “We should probably get up before Octavia wakes up and goes looking for you.”

“Only to find me naked in bed with her big brother who I’m supposed to hate?” Clarke clarified, pulling her lips from his so she could look down at him with a coy smile.

“Exactly,” he confirmed. “That’s not exactly how I want her to find out about this.”

Clarke nodded and pressed her forehead to his. “I don’t know how we’re supposed to tell my best friend that I’ve been sleeping with her brother for months and that I suddenly have very real feelings for him,” she admitted. Bellamy closed his eyes and kissed her quickly before tangling his hand in her hair.

“Well, we do it together,” he told her and she smiled. “Because I have to tell my little sister that I’ve been sleeping with her best friend and not so suddenly have very real feeling for her.”

“Not so suddenly, huh?” She sat up so her legs were on either side of his body and she was looking down at his bare chest and his messy bedhead.

Bellamy looked her over and she felt her face heat up under his intense gaze before he sat up and laced his fingers at the small of her back. “We talked about this last night,” he reminded her. “I’ve been too far gone for far too long.”

“Me too,” she promised and he smiled again before kissing her. “But we really should get up. She never sleeps all that late on the couch.”

Bellamy nodded and she kissed him one last time. Because she could and because she wanted to.

She started getting dressed, pulling on her bra and panties, before reaching for her dress, but Bellamy stopped her with an arm around her waist. He pulled her backwards against his chest and kissed the exposed skin on her shoulder. “Bellamy,” she breathed a warning, but when she felt his tongue on her skin, she melted against him. “Her finding us like this is barely an improvement.”

She felt the rumble of his laugh against her body before he turned her in his arms. “This is going to be fun,” he said and she tried hard—really, she did—not to laugh, but it bubbled up before she could really stop it.

“A fun disaster, maybe,” she told him and he just shook his head, that stupid smirk on his face. “A lot has changed since yesterday.”

“Not really,” he promised, but she didn’t believe him. “All that’s changed is we _get_ to do everything we’ve wanted to do the past few months.”

“We’re not good at relationships, Bellamy,” Clarke reminded him. “And I don’t want to screw this up. It’s not just getting to touch each other and kiss each other whenever we want to. We have to actually work at this. I don’t want to end up hating you like I do Finn and Lexa. I don’t want you to hate me or resent me for bullying you into something we might not be ready for.”

“I’m ready,” Bellamy insisted. “I’ve never been good with this stuff, but I’ve never cared. I care now. About you. I always have.” He shrugged easily, but Clarke knew admitting that was big for him. He’d told her the night before that he cared about her, but it felt much more real when he admitted he had for a while—or forever. Clarke stood tall and kissed him once, twice before settling her hands on his chest.

“I care about you, too, Bellamy. That’s why I want to do this the right way.”

He nodded like he understood, but then his face fell a little. “We’re still going to fight,” he reminded her.

“But, then, we get to make up. I’m not afraid of fighting with you anymore. We’re here now. Fighting brought us this far. As long as we’re doing it together, right? As long as we’re working through it together?”

“Right,” he smiled. “Come on, I’ll make breakfast.”

Clarke pulled her dress on and Bellamy helped her situate it on her body before kissing her one last time. He left his room as he pulled on his t-shirt and Clarke followed closely behind him. She stopped short when she hit his back and helped pull his shirt down to cover his torso. She didn’t see what made him stop until she tried getting around him.

“Oh.”

“Oh?” Octavia asked, looking between them. Her arms were crossed over her chest and the braids she’d put in her hair the night before were a mess. “ _Oh?”_

“Octavia,” Bellamy warned and she focused her attention on him.

“Clarke, Bellamy? You had to sleep with _Clarke_? Couldn’t you sleep with literally anybody else?”

“Octav-“

“No,” Octavia said, cutting Clarke off. “My brother? Come on, you have to know he has feelings for you. It’s not fair to just sleep with him and take advantage of that.”

“Hey,” Bellamy said, stepping between his sister and Clarke so he could make sure Octavia was looking only at him. “No one is taking advantage of anyone, O. Let’s just get that straight.”

“I wouldn’t do that to him,” Clarke promised, standing on her toes so she could look over Bellamy’s shoulder. “Not knowingly. But, in this instance, I didn’t do it at all. He’s not the only one with feelings here.”

“Excuse me?” Octavia asked, looking between them. Clarke ducked around Bellamy’s side so she could really see her best friend and stood against Bellamy’s chest. His hand came to rest on her hip instinctively and Clarke knew Octavia caught the simple movement. “What’s going on exactly?”

“This is happening, Octavia,” Bellamy told her. “This has been happening.”

“Not to this extent,” Clarke corrected quickly. “That just happened last night—the feelings and the admittance of feelings. That’s new. But we have been… sleeping together for a while.”

“When?” Octavia asked and Clarke could see the confusion in her eyes. “How did I not know?”

“Every time we drink together and most of the times we fight,” Clarke admitted and Octavia’s face fell into a deep look of disgust.

“You guys fight all the time,” she said quietly, refusing to look at her brother’s face. “How long?”

“Three months,” Bellamy told her and she nodded, looking at the floor. “We didn’t know it meant anything to the other person until last night. I thought it was just a way for her to de-stress and to pass the time. I didn’t know she wanted what I wanted.”

“And you do?” Octavia asked. “Want what he wants?”

“I was the one that changed the rules last night,” Clarke promised, looking up at Bellamy quickly. “I couldn’t sleep with him again until I knew for sure that he felt the same way I did. I couldn’t hold it in anymore.”

“Oh my god,” Octavia sighed dramatically, turning to the kitchen. Clarke looked at Bellamy again and he shrugged, pushing her to follow his sister. “My best friend and my brother are in fucking love.”

“Whoa,” Bellamy exclaimed, moving around Clarke. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. This is very new, very fragile.”

Clarke stood back, biting her lip. Bellamy was right, of course, but she liked to think the Octavia was also a little bit right. Octavia’s eyes met hers over Bellamy’s shoulder and her face softened a little. “Don’t hurt her, you asshole,” she said to her brother and Bellamy nodded. “Don’t hurt him.”

“I will do everything in my power not to hurt him,” Clarke promised and Octavia sighed before nodding.

“Okay,” she said. She shoved past her brother and smothered Clarke in a hug. “I never want to hear about your sex life ever again.”

“I promise,” Clarke laughed, looking at Bellamy who just rolled his eyes.

“I’m sorry I freaked out on you earlier, but he really does like you and it’s super obvious,” Octavia said and Bellamy sighed behind them.

“Apparently, I’m just blind.”

“Apparently, so am I,” Octavia laughed, pulling back. “I’m going to take a shower. I expect a three course meal waiting for me when I return. You know, for the emotional trauma you two are putting me through.”

“Deal,” Bellamy said and Octavia smiled at them both before heading for the bathroom.

Clarke waited for the door to close before stepping towards Bellamy. He met her in the middle and they looked at each other awkwardly until she had to laugh. “It could have been worse,” she offered and he nodded. “I’m glad that’s over with.”

“I’m glad we left the bedroom when we did,” he smiled and she laughed again. She closed the gap between them and kissed him slowly. “I’m glad you bullied into this,” he smirked and she shoved him playfully. “Sorry I couldn’t just admit it on my own.”

“I don’t care how it happened, Bell,” she promised. “All I care about is this,” she said, pulling him closer. “You and me.”

“It’s going to be really good, Clarke. I promise.”

“I trust you.”

Bellamy smiled. Clarke smiled. Together, they made breakfast and were sitting at the table with their hands knotted together when Octavia joined them again. Even she smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Come find me on [Tumblr](http://bellamyfrecklefaceblake.tumblr.com)!


End file.
